Shadow Work for Therapists: Meeting the Parts of Yourself That Show Up in Sessions
No matter how experienced we become, we don’t leave ourselves at the door when we enter the treatment room. Our history, our coping mechanisms and our inner patterns come with us. This includes the parts of ourselves we may not always want to look at. The ones shaped by early experiences, by survival, by the need to belong, to please, to protect or to stay in control.
These parts are often referred to as our shadow. They’re not mistakes or weaknesses. They’re responses we developed to help us navigate life. The problem is not that they exist. The difficulty arises when we are unaware of them and they begin to quietly influence who we are today and how we work with our clients.
Shadow work is not about fixing yourself or trying to remove these parts. It is about recognising them, understanding where they come from and meeting them with intention of
healing and completion. First step is to bring awareness to them.
In practice, shadow work often shows up in subtle ways. You may notice yourself becoming unexpectedly defensive with a client, feel overly responsible for their outcome or deeply attached to their progress. You might over identify with someone’s pain or feel a strong urge to rescue. These moments are not signs that you’re doing something wrong. They’re invitations to pause and turn inward.
Instead of pushing the feeling away, it can be powerful to gently ask yourself what part of me is speaking right now. Often the answer brings clarity. Perhaps it’s a part of you that once felt unseen. Perhaps it’s a part that learned to stay in control to feel safe. When you recognise this, the charge around the situation begins to soften.
The more aware you become of your own inner landscape, the more grounded your work becomes. Clients don’t need us to be perfect. They need us to be present, integrated and aware about our limitations. Awareness creates space. It allows us to respond rather than react.
I am deeply convinced that healing ourselves is essential if we want to support others in a meaningful and sustainable way. Our work reaches far beyond the physical body. We touch emotional, mental and sometimes spiritual layers too. If we’re not aware of how we operate internally, how we react under pressure or where our blind spots are, it becomes very difficult to offer true understanding to our clients.
This is why self care and self inquiry are not optional extras in this profession. They are part of ethical practice. In my How to Take Care of Yourself Masterclass, I explore this in depth. We look at how therapists can create space for reflection, regulation and self support so that personal work continues alongside professional growth.
Shadow work is not about judgement. It is about integration. When you meet yourself with curiosity and kindness, your capacity to meet others expands naturally. This is where depth, safety and authenticity in therapeutic work truly begins.